


Maris Dachshund Doesn't Dance

by DoctorV



Series: Archive: Doc's Old-Ass Comics Fic (DC, JLU, etc.) [38]
Category: Blue Beetle (Comics), Booster Gold (Comics), DCU, DCU - Comicverse, Justice League, Justice League International (Comic)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Drunkenness, F/F, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Nursery Rhyme References, Pre-Threesome, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-14
Updated: 2006-03-14
Packaged: 2019-04-05 14:50:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14046639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorV/pseuds/DoctorV
Summary: Apparently nursery rhymes are different depending on where you're from.





	Maris Dachshund Doesn't Dance

**Author's Note:**

> Archiving some old old OLD fanfic of mine. This was originally posted to LiveJournal 03/14/2006, with the author's note:  
> "I was wandering aimlessly around Wikipedia and stumbled upon [nursery rhymes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Nursery_rhymes). Somehow I got the idea for this. T'was the twisted title what did me in. My brain is a strange and interesting pile of oatmeal."
> 
> Added to Ao3 (but backdated): 04/21/2018

It started with a game of Truth or Dare. And booze.

 

Despite the alcoholic lubrication and more than a few personalities that could charitably be described as "eccentric," it was being played fairly tamely. Tame, aside from the rather raunchy story behind a truth from Guy and a dared sisterly peck on the lips between Bea and Tora.

 

Then it was Booster's turn and he was dared to sing "the little teapot song, complete with motions." Booster's response had been to stare blankly and ask if that was something to do with the animated teapot in _Beauty and the Beast_ , because he hadn't actually watched the movie.

 

It took a bit of discussion to realize Booster really had no idea what they were talking about, so of course at least half of the participants felt obligated to enlighten him. What followed looked like it could compete for the title of Weirdest Chorus Line Ever, with Ted helpfully moving Booster like a mannequin for each change of motions and some dispute between those in the know about the exact lyrics, which apparently were different depending on your nationality.

 

Eventually Booster got it and was able to carry out his dare, but from there the game was more or less abandoned in favor of discussing various nursery rhymes. Most of which Booster had never heard of, and many of which varied in some cases depending on time zone. It included a rousing debate over whether "Ring Around the Rosey" was really a cautionary tale about a disease, whether it had anything at all to do with a disease, or whether it was just a stupid rhyme about flowers.

 

"St. Ives!" called out Ted, raising a hand vaguely. "That one was...I always liked that one." Leaning against Booster, he cleared his throat, though his voice still slurred occasionally. "As I was goin' to St. Ivesss, I met a man with sev'n wives. And ev'ry wife had seven sacks, and every sack had sev'n cats, and every cat had seven kits. Kitss, cats, sacks, wivesss, how many were goin' to St. Ives?"

 

"Everyone knows that one," Bea dismissed. "Just one, the person who said they were going to St. Ives."

 

Ted held up a finger, grinning. "Ah! That's the only one sss _pecified_. Could be they were _all_ goin' t'St. Ives. It's a fa—fal—It's a flawed riddle."

 

"So how many is it if they're all goin', smart guy?" Guy asked derisively.

 

Smiling brightly, Ted closed his eyes and rested his chin on Booster's shoulder. "Twenty-eight hundred and _one_ ," he said with a cheerful certainty that made Booster grin.

 

"I always liked the one about the deer," Tora mused.

 

"Maresy-doats?" Ted asked blearily.

 

Booster stared down at him in confusion and poked his side. "What's a maresy-doats?"

 

That made Tora giggle. "Actually, it's 'mares eat oats'."

 

"An' dozy-doats," Ted mumbled.

 

"And little lambs eat ivy," Tora sang quietly, blushing and grinning.

 

"Maris Dachshund Doesn't Dance!" Booster blurted, startling Ted into sitting up. At everyone's blank looks he smiled sheepishly. "I...recognized the tune. The words're different is all. 'Maris Dachshund doesn't dance, Andrew doesn't like codeine....'" He trailed off, blushing.

 

Putting his hands on Booster's shoulders, Ted regarded him seriously for a moment before asking gravely, "Who th'hell is Andrew an' what's he got against codeine?"

 

That got a round of laughs from everyone, except Ted who seemed to actually want an answer. Booster had to admit he'd never understood the rhyme, especially the part about the alkaline IV tube, which got Ted looking drunkly thoughtful. Eventually, the man snuggled up against Booster's side, dropped his head to his friend's shoulder, and started lazily tracing what were probably chemical formulas on Booster's chest.

 

There were a few quiet snickers at Ted's actions, while Booster's expression wavered between pleased and embarrassed, but the man was apparently too far gone to notice.

 

There was a general consensus that if Ted was drunk enough to be acting like that in front of people, without noticing that those people were laughing, it was time to call it a night. Guy gave Tora a questioning look that turned into an affectionate leer at her inviting smile, while Bea rolled her eyes and Booster smiled sympathetically at her.

 

Once the pair started off, Bea leaned over and said to Booster, "Hey Booster...I dare you to kiss him."

 

Booster smirked back. "Dare you to go join them," he said, motioning after Guy and Tora with his head.

 

Expression thoughtful as she glanced over at them, Bea threw a sultry look over her shoulder at Booster. "You're on."

 

Eyes widening briefly, a slow smile crept over Booster's face.

 

"Wha's on?" Ted mumbled sleepily against Booster's neck.

 

"I'll tell you tomorrow," Booster promised the man.

 

Bea grinned, winked, and sashayed after Guy and Tora.


End file.
